10-18-2026 MY FAVES: playlist director - fiancé

 what i'm listening to...

this week, our playlist director is none other than fiancé. he rarely listens to music and dubs me the musical encyclopedia. however, he enjoys jazzy genres such as john coltrane, old school r'n'b of the psychedelic 70s, and rap gods like wiz khalifa. 

in the playlist director  spotify playlist, fiancé added some classic james brown and stevie wonder tunes. he enjoys some prince as well, so you'll find "let's go crazy" as an upbeat jam. for some contemporary tunes, fiancé added mary 3x by wiz khalifa.

this playlist guarantees true r'n'b greatness, layered instrumentals, and a chance to jam out.

what i'm reading...

in chapter 2 of lust, erika lust explores generational trauma among her female ancestors, and how parents shy away from talking about sex and sexuality with their children. it was a great chapter to reflect on my own female ancestors, and croatian culture. with the extreme rise in uber-christianity, i see many of my acquaintances fall into the trad-wife trend. but this was always the case. talking about birth control (even when medically needed for cysts, pcos, or endometriosis) was such taboo that my friends would "clutch their pearls" when i would talk about my hormonal issues, heart to heart, during our coffee breaks. it was these moments that i knew society was not going to change much. 

but i enjoy being an open book, and am thankful my household, no matter how catholic my mother presents it, was also a safe space for speaking about these issues, whether personal, or just societal and political debates. 

 i can't way i have had chats like these in the broader diaspora community, but i know my inner circle as well as my workspace are also safe zones for discussing these "taboo" topics. my job as a behavioral and therapeutic support is having these often-uncomfortable chats with my clients, and helping them normalize conversations about safe sex practices, sexuality, and increasing empathy through all this. 

what has emerged frighteningly fast as a new kind of prohibition - one that is selective and deeply rooted in old moral patterns. instagram, facebook, tiktok, and other platforms celebrate a curated, heteronormative version of "sexiness" - bikini-perfect bodies, fitness influencers with sculpted abs, glossy, compliant desirability. but content that challenges those norms is often down-ranked, restricted or entirely removed: women's nipples, breastfeeding images, menstrual blood, visible body hair, larger bodies, queer and trans expression, black and brown sexuality - all under the guise of "safety". safe for who? it isn't safety - it's selective enforcement. feminist critiques and artistic expression get flagged as "adult", female anatomy is treated as obscene by default, and artists are pushed to sanitize their work to appease brand-safety algorithms. objectification that sells is welcome; representation that challenges the gaze is punished. 

i stole my dad's ancient unique homes magazines, and i am reading the issue dated back to dec/jan 1986. here's some homes that caught my eyes, and i want to see where these homes are now, 40 years later:

el rancho del rayo, rancho santa fe, california.
there are numerous homes in rancho santa fe, all selling in the 10s of millions right now. some even close to 30 mil. this 15,000-square-foot residence was selling for $14,750,000 at the time. 

anuka lodge, steeley lake, montana.
there's a high chance what once was anuka lodge is now simply called "the lodges" the entire property once costed $7,500,000. now you can rent suites or cabins that vary from $246 to $410 per night.

what i'm watching...

fiancé pulled up martha stewart living again, and the following recipe inspired my birthday dinner for fiancé: sardine pasta with bitter greens. i made a bunch of swaps according to what was in the fridge, garden and pantry. first, i chose squid ink pasta, fiancé's fave. i swapped the sardines for chicken, and the only greens were actually the last of swiss chard from sib's garden. turned out good still!

i also discovered this mouthwatering pear dumpling recipe which i absolutely will be making this holiday season, whether to bring it over to the family, or while hosting!